Dating Games

So here it is….the topic you have all been waiting for…..DATING!

First off, I will just let you know I don’t think I am living in the right generation.  I think I was supposed to belong in the 1920’s to 1940’s era.  Now don’t get me wrong, I know how to play the game in 2010 - I just don’t agree with the rules or “guidelines.”

I read a quote the other day while doing some “research” and it really stuck with me.  Here it is:

“If you have to wonder whether a guy is interested in you or not, he’s not.”

I loved this! It was so simple and I totally agree.  If you have to wonder what a guys signal’s mean, then he isn’t sending you ones that say “I LIKE YOU!”  If a guy is interested in you, he will find a way to talk to you, or spend time with you.  So, if the guy you like isn’t doing that, don’t make excuses for him, cut your losses and move on to the next one.

Here are my opinions on dating - I am no expert and have only been in one serious relationship, but these are things I have noticed in the last year of trying to date again.  Enjoy!

First, I think men should always make the first move. Whether it’s starting a conversation, asking a girl out, or the first kiss this falls under the man’s responsibility. Does this always happen? NO.  In fact it probably only happens 1 time out of 10. So I know if I have to make any first moves, the guy has already lost points, and I have noticed if the girl has to make ALL the moves, it just doesn’t end up working out. And for those guys who do ask a girl out and she doesn’t accept the first offer, don’t give up hope, try again.  Some girls need to give it a little more thought.

Second, and this was a point my mom made that I absolutely agree with, is what is with all the F*cking group activities?!  Can two people really just not spend time alone? I mean, I get you’re nervous and if other people are around maybe it won’t be as awkward.  But here is another point - if there are all these other people around I am probably not going to notice you or pay attention to you at all so you have screwed yourself.  Hanging out with someone one–on-one is SUPPOSED to be awkward at first but then you get over it, so find your balls and ask me to do something just the two of us.  And girls, if he is asking you over and it’s never just you two, (roommates, friends, etc. are around) or you come over to play HALO or beer pong, he isn’t interested in you. (p.s. girls, why the F are you playing HALO?)

Third, don’t be sketchy.  I think men, and women for that matter, are afraid to seem too interested.  If we hung out and had a good time, don’t disappear for a week trying to play “hard to get.”  It is the biggest waste of time and no one appreciates having their time wasted.  If you do this and when you text me a week later, chances are this is the response you will get: “Who is this?” because I already deleted your number. You don’t have to be so aggressive to where you ask me to hang out the very next night (personally I would like that), but sending a text the next day letting me know you had fun, and want to hang out again doesn’t emasculate you.  Most girls will really be impressed that you took the time to let them know.

Fourth, don’t be afraid to let a girl know if you like her or don’t like her.  I once had a guy tell me he was interested, he flat out said, “I like you” and I didn’t feel the same way so I let him know that, but we still hang out and are friends to this day and I think it’s because he had the balls to just tell me even if I didn’t feel the same way.  So don’t be afraid to talk with her about how you’re feeling  - at least you will know and if you are unsure about where things are going, let her know that, so at least you are both on the same page.  If you can’t come right out and say you like her, at least text her on a regular basis to let her know you are interested in what she is doing or how her day is going.

Lastly, guys, if a girl is talking to you – whether by text, internet or whatever, she is interested!  So don’t question yourself and go for it!  Come on people - the worst thing that can happen is he or she says no, and you move on. Dating is NOT that big of a deal, so don’t drag out the process with all of the above!